The death of the pen is scary, but not as scary as Bic’s views about women

The young aren’t writing by hand anymore, apparently. A new survey has found that a third of teenagers have never handwritten a thank-you letter, and one in 10 don’t even own a pen. Concerning news for Bic, who conducted the poll, but considering its stone age attitudes to women, becoming an outmoded relic might be a fitting fate for the biro manufacturer.

The mooted reason for the slump in people putting pen to paper is that Generation Xbox are favouring less-sexist writing tools, such as smartphones and laptops. The ancient art of handwriting could soon be extinct, inkblots a thing of the past, and a whole host of your favourite stationary products defunct. A Post-It-dystopian world awaits.

In thousands of years, will scientists spend lifetimes trying to crack the DNA code of a Tippex mouse? Will historians recreate a W H Smiths as it used to be, for space-age tourists? Will robot hipsters fashion necklaces from protractors?

A terrifying prospect. But perhaps even more terrifying, is the question of how women will manage to write without Bic’s specially manufactured pink pens. Answers on a postcard – if you can remember how to write one.

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