This week in politics, according to Aesop

The writer Aesop is one of my favourite political commentators. It’s hard to prove he knew when writing his fables around 2,500 years ago that they would one day be given a new lease of life as Orwellian satire when they were played out in real life by the modern UK Conservative party, but he was a bright lad and I think we would do him a disservice to suggest otherwise.

One fable that adds fuel to this credible theory is the one where a scorpion, lets call him Gove, asks a frog to help him across a river. The frog, who is known as Boris, hesitates, afraid of being stung, but realises that if the scorpion did so they would both drown. So he agrees, but midway across the river, Gove the scorpion does indeed sting Boris the frog, dooming them both.

A passing crocodile, who works part-time as a researcher for Peston on Sunday, asks a sinking Gove why he did it. His answer? “Because it is my nature.”

The moral seems to be that the Tories are all evil, will never change, and we would all be better off voting for Labour (though Aesop stops short of endorsing Corbyn or any other candidate).

Back to the fable. It turns out the frog was actually a prince, and was about to become king. With his whereabouts unknown, Theresa, a sort of angry racist mollusc, was left free to lead the animal kingdom to its certain oblivion (after fighting off a limp attack from Liam the Fox and Steven the Crab).


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